Thromby believes in the concept of two pilots for every flight, and does not support recent suggestions of reducing this to one pilot. Excellent opportunities* therefore now exist in our Flight Operations department for suitably qualified** First Officers. * While your primary job is to bite the Captain if he does anything stupid, your own Captaincy upgrade may be at risk if you do. ** Vetinary certificate showing all shots and neutering is...

Thromby Air is pleased to announce our new all inclusive* package holidays. *  packages provided on a twin-share basis. Single occupancy surcharge will...

Thromby Air charges you for your ticket based on your weight. Here are some handy tips for reducing your ticket cost. Shave before you fly. Everywhere. Do not eat for 48 hours prior to checkin. Vending machines are available after ticket weigh-in (prices as marked). Eliminate all body waste prior to checkin. Common sense, really. Breathe helium prior to weigh-in. * Our lawyers coerced them after they suggested that Thromby increased freedom of choice in aviation in the same way that Typhoid increased freedom of health. Also, we tricked them into thinking that Thromby has flights from Australia to Oshkosh in the USA which, of course, is not true. Some people will never learn. Visit Steve Visscher and Grant McHerron at their podcast website www.planecrazydownunder.com to learn about aviation in the Australia/Pacific region, and to make sure that they don’t say anything nasty again about Thromby...

CEO Robert E. Coli hammed it up in front of the cameras and laid down a challenge to Thromby’s competition… To his rivals Mr E.Coli says: “Can you do this without using your...

At Thromby your comfort is high on our list of priorities*. Our patented Fully Automated Tariff Adjustment Sizing System (FATASS) will ensure that our more generously sized passengers are well serviced. * “passenger comfort” is number 376 on our priority list (a very high number...

There has been much discussion recently about our so-called “hidden charges.” These charges are not, of course, “hidden” as all passengers are informed of them at some point. If they were truly “hidden” then our passengers would NEVER know and this, of course, is not the case. To avoid confusion, we have adopted a new name for such charges, now referring to them as “Surcharges for Low Awareness Passengers,” or SLAPs. You may be slapped with a charge at any time, but it will not be hidden. In response to certain other scurrilous media accusations, Thromby management can assure you that ALL of our charges are perfectly safe, having been tested on...

You may entertain us with any excuse you like for being late.* * if it makes you feel...

The favourite tool of our legal and marketing departments, the asterisk was originally an “ideogram” used by the ancient Egyptians. When the discovery of the Rosetta stone allowed translation of ancient hieroglyphs it was revealed that the * symbol carried the meaning “tighter than a cat’s….” Although today the asterisk is used to separate marketing spin from the cold, hard facts, the flavour of the original meaning remains. * – not to be confused with “Asterix,” the little French guy. Express your deep understanding of the secrets of modern marketing with a genuine Thromby Air Asterisk* T-shirt, available now from our official merchandise provider,...

Thromby Air CEO Robert E. Coli recently discussed an inconvenient truth about humans and air travel: “There is a fundamental limit to the number of passengers we can squeeze into an aircraft cabin, and it is caused by the length of your femur. Seat pitch can only be reduced so far because your annoying thighbone is long and does not bend easily. “The more passengers we can cram into our planes the better*, so solutions need to be found. Some of our competitors are sniffing around the idea of making passengers stand up, but we don’t think the safety-wowsers are going to go for it. So we searched, and found a better way.” * for us When questioned further about this new solution, Mr Coli said, “We were inspired by one of the greatest games of the computer age. It is so obvious that I can’t understand why every airline isn’t doing it. Here, let me show you our design blue-print…” View page 2 to see our solution based on these plans… Tetris Hangin’ Upside Down Seating...

Thromby Air is pleased to announce we will soon be launching our online Seat Auction System, “Thromby-Bay.” With this state-of-the-art system you will be able to choose the seat to match your budget. Thromby Air – Giving You Choices, inline with our Corporate...

When you fly Thromby Air your drinks are unlimited* and FREE OF CHARGE.** * while stocks last. **Other SLAPs may*** apply. These include a $75.00 toilet usage fee. An $85.00 seat befoulment surcharge will automatically be applied if so indicated by our patented “Passenger In-Seat Secretion” (PISS) detector system. ***...

Thromby Air CEO Robert E. Coli recently gave his famous“People Are Like Tubes of Toothpaste”motivational speech to a recent intake of eager trainees…   “People are like tubes of toothpaste… you can ALWAYS squeeze a little more out of...

Those other airlines advertise ridiculous prices, some even charging $0 for a basic ticket. At Thromby we’re going one better… * or less. Airport charges, taxes and other SLAPs...

WARNING! OVERLOAD! Our system has determined that you are too large to be carried safely on a Thromby Air aircraft. Please reduce your weight or try another...

Page 35 Pay by weight: You will be weighed at check-in and charged according to your weight, including your clothes. The less you are wearing the cheaper your fare. Paper clothes available for a small fee. See our Weight Reduction Strategies page for tips on reducing your fare. Packing Cylinder Option: our lowest fares require you to be loaded into a cylinder to facilitate high density passenger loading. Please arrive at the airport 15 minutes earlier than usual if you have selected this option. If you feel that the packing cyclinder size you have chosen is possibly too small (Best Selling Cheapskate Option), please arrive 60 minutes early and expect to be coated in oil to facilitate cylinder loading. Fuel Surcharge: if you wish there to be fuel in the aeroplane, you will be charged an additional fee. Toilet usage fee: Use of our excellent onboard restroom will incur a $75.00 fee. You may use the facilities at the airport prior to boarding (after ticket price weigh-in) – prices displayed at the door. (Note: Onboard restroom not available if you have chosen the Packing Cylinder option.) Your luggage will be returned to you after your flight if you have paid the “luggage recovery surcharge.” You acknowledge that there are certain hazards associated with air travel. Larger passengers are serviced by our FATASS system. Carry-on bags must fit inside our generous size test...

Please arrive 60 minutes early to facilitate...