The high cost model adopted by the existing Christmas provider, combined with ongoing and increasing demand, suggests that this market can do with some good, old-fashioned, low cost competition. Thromby Air is therefore pleased to announce the launch of our new LCC (Low Cost Christmas) alternative… Xmas! Thromby Air – What Santa’s Presence Is...

Our top notch training provides our telephone sales and customer service representatives the skills and knowledge they need. Thromby Air – A Global...

Occasionally we do provide what could be viewed as a refund… * Your “refund” may be a credit voucher providing a discount on your next Thromby ticket. SLAPs will still apply. Thromby Air – Putting the “Fun” back in...

Thromby Air has been working closely with Airport Security authorities to provide a screening device that is quick and/or fun. Thromby Air – No Need to Cook Your...

Our world class cabin crew training facility will ensure that you have the skills required of a Thromby flight attendant.* * After our intensive 3 hour training program you will be fully qualified to handle any passenger loading emergency. Thromby Air – Training Without The...

Thromby Air CEO Robert E. Coli introduces the CEOs of the new “* One Star Alliance,” bringing together skills and expertise from all areas of the Low Cost aviation world. Mr Coli said “We have chosen the name ‘One Star’ because the last thing any of us want is to be mistaken for a 5-star operation. Lean and mean, light and tight… these are the goals of One Star airlines.” Thromby Air – Lowest of the...

At times you may believe that we should pay you a refund. You would be wrong. Thromby Compassion...

Thromby’s carry-on bag size measuring devices are the largest in the industry. * If your bag does not fit our generous size limits it must be placed in the hold**. Our Oversize Baggage desk will be happy to service you. ** It is called the “hold” because we will hold onto your luggage until you pay to have it returned. Thromby Air – If It Fits, Wear...

In the past some of our low cost brethren have received bad press over their handling of limited-mobility passengers. Some are even charging a fee to use a wheelchair. At Thromby an express wheelchair access lane is always available to you, even if you haven’t given us 24 hours notice! Thromby Air – Care and Compassion* * are two words beginning with...

We have hired experts in squeezing out messages and hurling them through the airwaves, so that we can keep our passengers informed about what we think of them… The benefits have not been immediately apparent. See the Infinite Monkey Theorem on Wikipedia for proof that our Social Media strategy will work, eventually.   Thromby Air – Monkeys Making Shakespeare   Protect yourself against the hurlings of social media with this Monkeys Making Shakespeare T-shirt, available now from our official merchandise provider, FighterJox…...

Don’t worry if your grades aren’t up to scratch. At Thromby we are more interested in what you will work for than what you know.* * Passes in Maths and English are still required; Maths so you can understand the economics of Low Cost airlines, and English so you will understand your instructions. Thromby Air – Undercutting The Laws of...

Some airlines will not allow children to travel without their parents. Others treat “Young Persons Travelling Alone” as royalty, treating them with respect and care, entertaining them and delivering them safely and happily to their destination. At Thromby Air we are also happy to entertain your children, even after their flight has arrived.* * Please advise if your children are allergic to cleaning products or hard work. Thromby Air – It’s Not Child Labor if we call it...

At Thromby Air we want to minimise stress for our nicotine-addicted passengers.* It could be stated that the high price of the SMOKAT surcharge is because we care about your health. * The massive contribution to our finances is** entirely coincidental. ** not Thromby Air – Your Needs Are Our...

Thromby Air is pleased to announce that our new inflight entertainment innovation, Casino Thromby, is now available on selected flights… So far our new Casino Thromby service has proved very popular*. * with our accountant, our shareholders, and the one passenger who won a jackpot that did not even cover her luggage surcharge! Thromby Air – Are you feeling...

Are you one of those people who just HAVE to get on board first to get the best seat on the plane. Do you push and shove so that YOU get to be the one who fills the overhead luggage bins, leaving no room for the other passengers’ belongings? If so, our new “Assured Seat Selection & Overhead Luggage Space” surcharge may be for you. You can, by paying a small additional fee, join an elite bunch of ASSOLS boarding the aircraft before the other passengers, thereby fulfilling your perfectly natural selfish tendencies. Isn’t that worth 5 bucks? Thromby Air – Making selfish ASSOLS...

Some people have complained that our surcharge policies are not entirely clear. Rest assured, all of our charges follow long-established scientific principles. However, in response to these complaints we are pleased to announce our new “Clear Upfront Price” option (CUP-CHOICE). Thromby Air… Taking you for a ride at a price WE can...

Our competitors keep banging on about “standing seats”, as if they could be called “seats” when you are standing up. Anyway, we thought we’d try them out. It turns out that the ancillary revenue opportunities are intriguing! * And, of course, I will have to give you a nasty SLAP! Thromby Air: Head room and carry-on space...

Thromby Air recently advertised First Officer Vacancies but the response from suitably qualified applicants has been disappointing. Therefore, in a new recruitment initiative, we have devised a way for teenagers to control real Thromby aircraft through their video games. Best yet, they will not even know they are doing it, so we won’t have to pay them or feed them! We see no reason that this exciting innovation will not solve our recruitment issues and provide a large number of “Thromby-ready” low cost pilots. Thromby Air: Your Pilot may have pimples, but at least you wont have to look at...

Robert Edward Coli longed to get out of the family business but couldn’t think of another job that would utilise his skills and experience. Nonetheless he sold the company and sought out new ventures. Eventually he started a business that used his expertise in packing as many smelly creatures as possible into a tin can… Thromby Air was born. Thromby Air… Nothing fishy about...

CEO Robert E. Coli discusses Thromby’s new strategy to increase ancilliary revenue: “We’ve got to sell stuff on our flights. Our shareholders demand it, but they haven’t tasted our coffee or croissants. As you know, our coffee can strip paint and our croissants taste like they were squeezed out by a dog.” “Luckily, our scientists have determined that smells can be used to induce people to spend. We know this works… Really, if you could smell ME you would give me money.” “Therefore we have obtained the smells of some top quality coffee and food. With these smells we can whip our passengers into a spending frenzy and they won’t even realize they are reaching for their wallets. They will feel compelled to buy and they won’t even know why! Don’t you just love science?” View page 2 to see Thromby’s scent marketing solution… PONG Ain’t Wrong! Thromby’s patented Passenger Olfactory Need Generation (PONG) system gives us an aromatic advantage when it comes to increasing revenue. Thromby Air… helping passengers realise their...