When you fly Thromby Air your drinks are unlimited* and FREE OF CHARGE.** * while stocks last. **Other SLAPs may*** apply. These include a $75.00 toilet usage fee. An $85.00 seat befoulment surcharge will automatically be applied if so indicated by our patented “Passenger In-Seat Secretion” (PISS) detector system. ***...

Thromby Air CEO Robert E. Coli recently gave his famous“People Are Like Tubes of Toothpaste”motivational speech to a recent intake of eager trainees…   “People are like tubes of toothpaste… you can ALWAYS squeeze a little more out of...

Those other airlines advertise ridiculous prices, some even charging $0 for a basic ticket. At Thromby we’re going one better… * or less. Airport charges, taxes and other SLAPs...

WARNING! OVERLOAD! Our system has determined that you are too large to be carried safely on a Thromby Air aircraft. Please reduce your weight or try another...

Page 35 Pay by weight: You will be weighed at check-in and charged according to your weight, including your clothes. The less you are wearing the cheaper your fare. Paper clothes available for a small fee. See our Weight Reduction Strategies page for tips on reducing your fare. Packing Cylinder Option: our lowest fares require you to be loaded into a cylinder to facilitate high density passenger loading. Please arrive at the airport 15 minutes earlier than usual if you have selected this option. If you feel that the packing cyclinder size you have chosen is possibly too small (Best Selling Cheapskate Option), please arrive 60 minutes early and expect to be coated in oil to facilitate cylinder loading. Fuel Surcharge: if you wish there to be fuel in the aeroplane, you will be charged an additional fee. Toilet usage fee: Use of our excellent onboard restroom will incur a $75.00 fee. You may use the facilities at the airport prior to boarding (after ticket price weigh-in) – prices displayed at the door. (Note: Onboard restroom not available if you have chosen the Packing Cylinder option.) Your luggage will be returned to you after your flight if you have paid the “luggage recovery surcharge.” You acknowledge that there are certain hazards associated with air travel. Larger passengers are serviced by our FATASS system. Carry-on bags must fit inside our generous size test...